{"id":67,"date":"2016-01-20T12:37:43","date_gmt":"2016-01-20T12:37:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/?page_id=67"},"modified":"2016-01-29T12:41:38","modified_gmt":"2016-01-29T12:41:38","slug":"1984-2","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/?page_id=67","title":{"rendered":"1984"},"content":{"rendered":"

1st<\/sup> Jan 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today Bhavna came but she didn\u2019t phone till evening and I got all doubts about her.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then there was a movie on tv \u2018ek baar Kaho\u2019. It was like all Rajshri movies an emotional movie about love. I liked it very much. And at the end I was very depressed knowing that I would never be able to enjoy those emotions.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today, in the afternoon I thought about the operation (if ever there was one) And it was frightening thought not the operation but the rituals before that.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 8th<\/sup> Jan 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We had gone to Gorai Beach for picnic about 25-30 of us. Bhavna had also come. It was fun. All Mama and Tiku Ben and Pankaj Bhai had come.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 13th<\/sup> Jan 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had my college day. I enjoyed. Mummy-Daddy had come to take me in the end.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 14th<\/sup> Jan 1984 (sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was \u2018Kati Patang\u2019 day. I went to Gautam Nagar terrace in the evening and miraculously enjoyed every moment.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 19th<\/sup> Jan 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We won the cricket match against all colleges and the authorities had to give two days holidays.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 21st<\/sup> Jan 1984 (Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

College is no more fun as rupali, Vidhya, go with Sangita and Sangita and I do not get along and I get an inferiority complex always and I will not give up till I\u2019ve got rid of the feeling and won it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 23rd<\/sup> Jan 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to Doctors house after college as I wanted to attend Neeta\u2019s (Tina\u2019s Mama\u2019s daughter) wedding. I enjoyed at both places. Dipa was a good company. I saw Devyani\u2019s album. Dipa\u2019s friend came and both of them exchanged news and she went away.I was very much enchanted by this (as Dipa does not talk but talks with hands and lip talking) and it brightened me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 26th<\/sup> Jan 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We played Housie in the terrace. It was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We had gone to Matunga to celebrate Manan\u2019s birthday.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 29th<\/sup> Jan 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A Golden Day of my life<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

Really I enjoyed the most today. We(building) had gone for a picnic to Tulsi lake, OP and picnic point. I played and sang songs and enjoyed myself. I was always laughing. Bhavesh had even come. And I saw that many times he was staring at me. How I wish I could tell him that I\u2019ll never be able to marry anyone. Yes, I do want to tell somebody, but whom?<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

30th<\/sup> Jan 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I dreamt of the beautiful moments of yesterday. I had my second paper of English today. It was OK.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 31st<\/sup> Jan 1984 (Tues)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today there was complete \u2018Bombay Bandh\u2019 and the whole day, all shops and traffics were closed. It was a beautiful sight on the roads.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the evening, when we went out for a stroll and to temple we only saw people everywhere and we wished there were these types of days every once in a year.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 10th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was very-very happy today in this last gone days. I was happy in the morning and went with high hopes to college. Before going to college I had read Mills and Boons and after reading one of the love scenes, I was overcome with despair that I would never be able to experience those feelings. In college, I again had those feelings that I wanted to run as I didn\u2019t have friends I like. Smruti had come down with us during first lecture. I hate Smruti. She is nice girl but she talks all boring talks and I do not enjoy her company. But she chitkaod to me. It was same thing in school with Raji. But Raji was much-much better company. Vidhya, Sangita, Roopali had left me. I was disgusted. While coming I had the only dream of being with Minu. I enjoy her company. But even she had gone early and I was real sad. But I felt much better out of college. And I tried to forget my troubles and be happy and I succeeded until I had a row with Meena Ben. And the Chhaya geet sang made me want to cry.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Teri Duniya mein dil lagta nahin, vapas bula le,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mein kasht mein hoon rahi mujko e malik utha le\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Koi hamdam na raha, koi sahara na raha,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hum kiseke na rahe, koi hamara na raha\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>12th Feb 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the morning Mummy said that Anil Bhai asked Meena-Meeta to come to Bombay and he must have meant only two if I had not been such a weakling and started crying. I was looking forward for a Sunday out with the family. But it was not to be\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 . I did go to walkeshwar and woodlands. And did enjoy in one way. Ajay Bhai had come with Sanjay to have lunch.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 13th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was much better than expected. It had rained unexpectedly today. Many girls had not come to college. From our group only Sangita, Christine and myself. Christine went after one lecture and I was with Sangita for the day. She did pay attention to me because she didn\u2019t have anybody else. But I had that inferior feeling and felt rather irritated with myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 15th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today I had my periods. Then morning Tinki\u2019s Hero\u2019s cassette went behind the divider and till afternoon I tried to get it out.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had gone for a walk with bhavna and in one of her sentence she said that she thought of me as something smaller as I don\u2019t talk to boys as she does and it sent me thinking and feeling down in dumps. Though I know where I stand.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I read Ann Marie\u2019s diary today and I had the feeling that I could be a great success if I tried and if only God gave me a chance.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We ate late and there were some vessels which Meeta Ben asked me if I would wash and I quiet boldly said \u2018no\u2019. It was shameful though I didn\u2019t feel ashamed. I think that this is the attitude which holds me back from getting respect from others.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 17th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tomorrow is Vidhya\u2019s birthday. I didn\u2019t know and when I knew I was wishing she would call me to her place though I didn\u2019t like the idea. She didn\u2019t call me. I\u2019m thinking of putting aslight end to this friendship which is become a huge burden for me. I\u2019m reading m&B and there is a character who changes acts. She knows a person and acts according to his likeness. She was a actor. And I think I\u2019m somewhat similar. And I\u2019m going to try to be my original self. Though I know its going to be pretty hard. But then not knowing yourself and always changing is also not my liking. I can only hope that god helps me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I also learnt that I should do what I really want to do (by thinking) and let people who want to follow or accompany you, do so. You shouldn\u2019t go out of your way as long as it isn\u2019t necessary.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 18th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was holiday and in the morning Varsha Bhabhi had come. It was fun. In the evening I was out with Bhavna. She is so clever. She makes friends she likes and she knows how to treat and keep them. I have to learn a lot from her. At night we went to ghatkopar and to Charu Ben\u2019s place. Pooja was great fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 19th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to Matunga as there was Bapuji\u2019s Pooja. I was a bit of what I say weak charactered for some time and some of relatives didn\u2019t even wish me but I wasn\u2019t lost. I decided to go on playing and there were some happy tunes by the end. After all I do want to be original.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Feb 22 1984 (wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was Mummy\u2019s birthday. We 3 houses had gone to Gokul.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Before that I came early home with Bhavna. We had gone to Dwarka and al lthe time I had the feeling that I was Kanjus and stupid. It was a horrible feeling. I paid for the bill. I always find myself doing that and that\u2019s why I feel frightened going with friends to hotels. Though, I know that I must learn as much to give and take your part. God has given brains, then why not use it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Feb 23rd<\/sup> 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had worn Bhavna\u2019s skirt-blouse and it looked just beautiful. We bunked first two lectures as BK miss told us to go out if wedo not have the problem.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I enjoyed myself down though it was damn boring at times. As I looked good and fresh, I could get the feeling that everybody wanted to talk to me. I told myself that it happens.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then in the 3rd<\/sup> lecture Roopali said that I didn\u2019t seem to have any bust line and I was flat and I should do something about it. I was just depressed by it. I felt very-very sad. I was wearing a petticoat and it must have seemed that way. But then there must be some weight in her talking and though I knew that my having breasts, no breasts did not make a difference, I was much, much depressed.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 3rd<\/sup> Mar 1984 (sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Oh, I\u2019m feeling damn damn depressed and just a few minutes before I was feeling as if I want to jalao jalao (as I always do and remain thin) and just die. It is such a boring life. Today Roopali and all showed little interest though I get used to it nowadays and don\u2019t feel bad. But then when I was coming from Bhavna\u2019s place, I saw Bhavesh coming in Riksha with somebody and I don\u2019t exactly know but I felt that he was cleverly making the other fellow pay and I had the feeling that he was using cunning ways to patao me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then Bhavna said that a boy Kamlesh in next building was calling her and I envied her. He is a handsome fellow. And worst of all, I had that most discouraging thought of never being able to be loved or to love and it was enough to make me wince with pain and hope, hope fervently that I die soon. For I don\u2019t know what I want to live for.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 8th<\/sup> March 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bhumpi\u2019s birthday. I went to temple early with her. In the evening I had gone to her place and there was a row between Guddi and her Ba and even Bhumpi and the atmosphere was tense. I felt bored. Bhavna was very out of character in her talks. I didn\u2019t like the way she talked to her Ba. She said that her house bugs her and therefore she goes out as much as possible. While her granny feels she should stay at home and give her company.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 10th<\/sup> March 1984 (Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bhumpi had given us a treat at Dwarka and as we were there Bhavesh, Bankim, Vinod and another boy came there. It somewhat spoilt the mood. But I was happy and felt wanted when I came out of Dwarka.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 11th<\/sup> March 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had gone with Bhavna to experts. Even Amit had come. He is good but reserved. He didn\u2019t say bye while leaving and I was under tension as to the reason for it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bhavna went to her Masi\u2019s place. She is also very eager to go to Muscat as soon as her exams get over. I felt that I\u2019ll miss her very much. Though I don\u2019t and it\u2019s good. Our friendship is not on emotional basis. It is just that we have work from each other. It\u2019s a matlabi world.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 14th<\/sup> March 1984 (Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nowadays everybody is throwing balloons at everybody or most summarisedly all small kids and mavali boys throwing at girls. Girls don\u2019t shout and show their feminine character that is why. I wonder how this cowards are going to grow up. I got really bugged.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have heard that in America they respect woman so much that they raise their caps when woman pass and in India people can\u2019t wait to insult and make them low.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 15th<\/sup> March 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I remembered my diary once again today when I was depressed and very-very sad.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the morning I was sad because Meeta Ben didn\u2019t do work.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then just now Meena Ben didn\u2019t do work and was really bugged. They don\u2019t do much wok and they are te ones tat get all the credit. All praises them and all. It\u2019s a stupid \u2013 stupid world filled with crazy people (some of them, not all) There\u2019s still hope. I made myself happy in the morning hoping and challenging myself to find the person whom I like.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Just before I wrote this, Minar came to me for some drawings and I was happy. I am happy in two minutes and next two minutes I\u2019m sad. It\u2019s a crazy world, isn\u2019t it?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 17th<\/sup> March 1984 (Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was Holi and morning was full of fun. I went out ot play with Sonal and all and it was fun. I had my periods yesterday but I didn\u2019t tell anybosy outside. My legs ache when I was outside. I saw Bhavesh making having fun with a small girl who wanted to colour him but he wouldn\u2019t bend and I was somewhat turned by it. I even saw his face turning away when boys of Malati Ben\u2019s place were throwing water and colours at me. We all slept in the afternoon exhausted.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 18th<\/sup> March 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We went to Sawarkundla\u2019s programme \u2018Melody Makers\u2019 It was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 19th<\/sup> March 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today Manisha\u2019s SSC exam started and as her center as at our school I went to leave her there with Bhavna. It was fun. We met sanjoo there and came back together.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yesterday Samir had come to Gautam Nagar to fight with Harish and all as Harish is after Bhumpi and due to this Guddi-Bhumpi are having a rough time. There are tales of al kinds and peole are talking rubbish. It was all samir\u2019s fault. He shouldn\u2019t have come.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 20th<\/sup> March 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Saigita and damietta had come with Bhavna to study maths.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 21st<\/sup> March 1984 (Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the afternoon, Bhavesh had put on old songs very loudly (it could only be him) and one song \u2018Koi Jab tumhara Hriday tod de\u2019 very loudly and it touched me very much. And I started wondering whether he really loved me so much that even my disease wouldn\u2019t matter. I wasn\u2019t sure.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 22nd<\/sup> March 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today he just put on one song \u2018Age Bhi Jane na tu, peechi bhi jane na tu\u2019 and I was sure that love was not real. He was getting eager. Though I shouldn\u2019t make hasty decisions about such delicate matters.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And even I\u2019m being matlabi. I didn\u2019t like him when I had no disease and have no right to spoil his life.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 23rd<\/sup> March 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Exam started.\u00a0 I went to college wearing Kalu\u2019s black midi and it looked very good.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 25th<\/sup> March 1984 (sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Rajul had come home and even Bhavna came and afternoon passed off quickly.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 26th<\/sup> March 1984(Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I was going to dehrasar the parijat boy (who has been following me through many days) came behind and even came inside the Dehrasar. I was very irritated though I don\u2019t exactly know my feelings. He looks stupid and ugly and even in personality he is very weak. I saw him once getting shaken by a dog\u2019s bark.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 28th<\/sup> March 1984 (wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today Minu had come to study for tomorrows exam of maths and when we went down to leave her, I was talking to daddy and my eyes went to Bhavesh\u2019s balcony on first floor and Gopal Bhai was watching me. I felt ashamed. The thought kept troubling me. I was calling Bhabhi from down andBhavesh came out and down and I felt that I was spoiling his life. He shouldn\u2019t come after me andI felt that I was somewhat making him do it. It was a sad feeling. I must do my best in controlling my feelings and do what I must do and not what I want to.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 1st<\/sup> April 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to Matunga to meet daxa Faiba and family. It was fun to have 3 small babies to play with.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Malay said something like Vibha is not wanted and she is just in the house with no necessity (right in front of me to Kirti Fuva) and I was aghast though I just smiled. I should have bashed his head. I was very sad when I went to bed.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 2nd<\/sup> April 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Jasmine Bhabhi got a baby girl. We all went to see her. She is beautiful with much hair.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then we came back home and then went to the fun fair of Bhatia\u2019s as Rajul had taken part and Narottam Bhai was there.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 3rd<\/sup> April 1983 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went with Bhavna to her college.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 4th<\/sup> April 1983 (wed)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bhavna went to Muscat. That time I didn\u2019t realize how much I would miss her. There is never a dull moment with Bhavna.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to see \u2018Sparsh\u2019. I was in good spirits and I realized when seeing another Meeta Ben\u2019s friend who was very quiet that it is not good to be quiet. It was a good movie.
\nWe had gone to Hansa Masi\u2019s place in the evening and as usual I came with a complex feeling. We were talking about Guddi-Bhumpi. Vilas talked great about those boys. He said that the girls were bad to make the boys do it and at end it was concluded that boys were bad and even girls played a part in it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5th<\/sup> April 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was feeling bored and deep in downs at 7:00 in the morning. I wanted to do something extra. And all at once I got the idea of going to Ketan Bhai\u2019s office. It would do me good to see many people and the busy mind will forget sorrows. I went and it was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 6th<\/sup> April 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

There was a show of Heena Ben (no other way to describe it) to some boy of Borivli at our house.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 9th<\/sup> April 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to office again. But we were too many members.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 11th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Daxa Faiba and all came to stay. It was fun,fun all the way. In the evening I wore Tinu\u2019s baggie and though it didn\u2019t look good on a skinny like me, I wore it an enjoyed the feeling of modness,<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 12th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Daxa faiba and all went and again bored.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 13th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had my chums a bit early. Legs were paining in the morning. Why should I have them? They will not be able to reward me, will they? Then why? Why? Why?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 15th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>We went to Dehrasar in the morning today and I took a pony. With the result that I felt hot, very hot.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We went to see \u2018A Stitch in time\u2019. It was a nice movie. I met Sonali in the train and Vidhya at the theater. Both whom I like. It was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 16th<\/sup> Feb 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today in the evening when I went\u00a0 down I don\u2019t know why but I was very happy and at the end I ended up with the feeling that I was a flirt.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I talk to boys on rare occasions though I occasionally smile at them just as I do with most girls. I like to make friends and feel satisfied that I know many people. But I think that sometimes there is a mis-thinking by people and matters are taken badly. Even I get the guilty feeling at times. But I\u2019ll always try hard to think wisely and act so as to fight this. I should not do things which makes me feel guilty. Act wisely. This is your life and a life where you want to make good impression as it is short and the small affairs will take you nowhere except in the dark corner of your heart and deep in your dumps. Live proudly without the guilt feeling. Live wisely. Live happily.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 April 23rd<\/sup> 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kalu came today and it was a time pass with her. She is going to stay.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 25th<\/sup> April 1984 (wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kalu was teasing me with Bhavesh. I enjoyed it. I\u2019m playing a very dangerous game with him. But I show him that I don\u2019t want him and then also he comes after me and I can\u2019t help but like his trust. I\u2019ve grown more thinner in this vacation as I just have to sit and my thoughts move always to my illness and my body burns.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I saw the movie \u2018Asha Jyoti\u2019 and in it there was a girl who said that a cancer patient doesn\u2019t live after it gets vomit of blood. I wonder when that\u2019ll happen to me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 26th<\/sup> April 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We went to Matunga. It was fun. At start I felt Pushpa Kaki didn\u2019t want me but end was good.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 27th<\/sup> April 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hansa Faiba came. We went in the evening to the zoo with all children.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 28th<\/sup> April 1984 (Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We saw Mr. Natwarlal and it was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 29th<\/sup> April 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I came back at night after we went to Juhu and it was fun. I didn\u2019t quite want to come here as in Matunga there were so many people and I was so busy thatI had no time for anything else while I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll feel bored stiff here with all such awful thoughts and memories and I had a good start when I came and Bhavesh was standing down. My thoughts troubled me and so did my soul. I\u2019ve got nothing to do with him (I\u201cll remember that)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 30th<\/sup> April 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yesterday night, when I was doing beds there was a problem of Malay changing and Bhabhi said that poor Vibha will have to take one more bed in the morning and told Malay to put the bed everyday. But daddy said \u2018no\u2019 why should he put? And I said why not, we\u2019re not servants. He said that we are 3 of us and he shouldn\u2019t do it. As if he was the prince, just sitting about the whole day reading books, playing and we —–<\/strong><\/p>\n

When I was at Matunga also seeing Nehal made me feel very, very sad for her and for myself. All acted as if she was extra. It is good that they don\u2019t ill treat her. But for the first and second child there is a need, a excitement, a joy by parents. But the third child especially when girl, gets no such upbringing and you can\u2019t blame thechild if she becomes the type I am.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hearing Daddy\u2019s words made me feel as if I was not needed and just there to work. I felt sad, very very sad.<\/strong><\/p>\n

And today morning found me in that dull mood. I burned, burned from inside thinking of the future. Nobody needs me. My parents don\u2019t. Sisters and brother don\u2019t. Bhavna doesn\u2019t (Rajul came to give Bhavna\u2019s daddy\u2019s letter. There was no letter by bhavna in that. I was so eagerly waiting for it. Shit) Bhavesh needs me but I\u2019ll be of no\u00a0 help to him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nowadays I\u2019ve grown more and more thin. And abovethat I have cold. My head pained, my body burned, my mind was in a whirlwind. I was bored with life. Before I used to manao myself that at least when I go out I can be happy seeing the glances and hearing comments but as I\u2019ve grown thin I get very few and it ends up making me more sad. I try to be happy and be fat. But today was not a success. Tomorrow I\u2019ll try. I hope I get luck. After all one can\u2019t be happy but one can stop pitying oneself and burning by being busy terribly busy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to school today for Bhumpi\u2019s results. No fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 2nd<\/sup> May 1984 (Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah I got Bhavna\u2019s letter and I was very very happy. I was literally flying. I\u00a0 think she wrote it before her daddy\u2019s but I got it late because of the post. I do jump to quick conclusions and feel sad. I should learn to have patience.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 3rd<\/sup> May 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went by train to Palanpur. I was happy in the train. I looked good and had become a bit fatter and was a good feeling.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 4th<\/sup> May 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

At 7:30 we reached Palanpur. I got a grand welcome. Tina\u2019s friends were all good and above all Tina was great. She didn\u2019t for once make me feel lonely. At the end of her marriage everybody was crying terribly except me. I don\u2019t know why, but I just can\u2019t cry even if I want to. I didn\u2019t even feel so sad for Tina. After all she was a lucky girl for having you know what. Yes, what I miss and will always miss.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Tina\u2019s friends were teasing her terribly in the afternoon and I enjoyed myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5th<\/sup> May 1984 (Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We went to meet Tina at her place. They just kissed each other at the night. Today night was their real first night. And when we left her today she was saying that stay here and I\u2019ll tell you everything tomorrow. But I had to go.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 6th<\/sup> May 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was travelling time. I was bored stiff of the taxi. But I looked damn good in the red churidar. I could see that in everybody\u2019s glances. It was great.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 7th<\/sup> May 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was Anil Bhai\u2019s Jamanvar. Daxa Bhabhi\u2019s sisters had come home. All my brothers liked the elder one Charu and they made fun. I made good friends with them. They were good. Tinu also gave good company.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the night Mukesh was seeing everybody\u2019s hands and I showed mine. He didn\u2019t say anything about any illness. He said that I should have a long life. I shouldn\u2019t have believed but it gave me a lot of happiness. He even said that I would have a peaceful life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 8th<\/sup> May 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was usual. Nothing great. Though it was not boring. It was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 9th<\/sup> May 1984 (wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Anil Bhai\u2019s marriage. We went in the morning to Palitana. It was fun in the bus. The time passed qauickly.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The marriage was not so much fun. It was damn hot. We had lunch at 3:00 p.m.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then we went to Sawar Kundla and met Kalu and all. It was a nice meeting.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 10th<\/sup> May 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I enjoyed myself with Kalu and Bhavin. We went to see our old house. Ours is not so big as Bhupat Kaka\u2019s. Theirs was a big one.<\/strong><\/p>\n

While we were waiting for the \u2018Varghoda\u2019 of a girls diksha I saw a notice by Lions club on a pole about cancer. It said that it is 30% curable or at least less painful with cure. The signs were the knots, pain at the back and lessening of weight. All three signs are visible.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 11th<\/sup> May 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Again at Bhavnagar. We went to Victoria Gardens. It was fun. Though I didn\u2019t quite enjoy because of my chums.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 13th<\/sup> May 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We reached Bombay by train. It was very very boring journey.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to Woodlands with all as it was daksha faiba\u2019s wedding anniversary. I was tired and I knew from the start that I was mistaken in going. I didn\u2019t at all enjoy myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 14th<\/sup> May 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

From the morning I wasn\u2019t feeling well. I was involved in self pity in the morning. I went to take my result in the afternoon. I passed with 52%. Minu is detained. She was feeling very sad. I felt sad for her.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had fever when I came back. Though it was all over in the night. I couldn\u2019t go to woodlands for Kailash Ben\u2019s wedding anniversary party.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve decide to go on with what life has in store for me without thinking much.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Our servant Rajni was telling Bhabhi that her husband was a sharabi and didn\u2019t love her and she was thinking of divorce.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Our old servant Heera Ben also has some knot in her stomach and she feels she is going to die. Mummy advised her to be brave in mind or she would lose courage of body also.<\/strong><\/p>\n

A song:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Na koi umang hai, na koi tarang hai,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Meri Zindagi hai kya, ek kati patang hai,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Akash se giri mein ek baar kat ke aise,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Duniya ne phir na puchho loota hai mujko kaise,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Na kisika saath hai, na kisika sang hai.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Meri zindagi hai kya<\/strong><\/p>\n

Lag ke gale se apne babul ke main na roi,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Doli uthi yu jaise arthi uthi ho jaise\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 17th<\/sup> May 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Meeta Ben went to Bangalore. I envied her. I would give anything to be in her place, at least now to go out with her best of friends. Only 3 of them are going to Bangalore (my best city). Oh, it would be heavenly. I want to go out. Far, far away.<\/strong><\/p>\n

When mummy-daddy came in the night they bought daxa faiba and I was very, very happy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 18th<\/sup> May 1984 (fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

My day passed with the kids.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 20th<\/sup> May 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kalu and all had come for lunch and they all went in the evening. Bhavin stayed while Kalu and her mummy went to her Mama\u2019s place.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 21st<\/sup> May 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had to go to the college to pay fees. I asked Minu if she would come with me. But she said she couldn\u2019t and I at once remembered bhavna. She would always be ready to come. I really do miss her.<\/strong><\/p>\n

But fortunately, Kaka was going to keep Praful Bhai\u2019s family to the airport and I went with them and it was not so boring. But I couldn\u2019t pay my fees as I didn\u2019t have daddy\u2019s sign on the form and I had to come back all alone.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 22nd<\/sup> May 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 As Bhavin is there here, the days are not as boring as they used to be.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 23rd<\/sup> May 1984 (Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kalu came today and we went to the library in the evening and the day slipped off.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 24th<\/sup> May 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We went to college to pay the fees again and this time it got over pretty fast. Kalu had come with me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 25th<\/sup> May 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

NowadaysI have come up with a formula. I\u2019ve made up many reasons such as foll. For becoming fat:-<\/strong><\/p>\n

i)There is no sorrow so much big as the sorrow of burning your body. Just be bindhas. If not that, don\u2019t worry your pretty head about anything much. It\u2019ll not help. Jut be satisfied always and become fat. What is going to happen is bound to happen. Whether you burn from inside or not. It is more bearable if you\u00a0 do not burn.<\/strong><\/p>\n

ii) If I am healthy, then maybe my death would be less painful. So I should work hard and remain healthy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

iii) <\/strong>You\u2019ll look good if you become fat for the sake of yourself and the people you love and for the people who love you it\u2019ll be an extra treat.<\/strong><\/p>\n

iv) <\/strong>So don\u2019t balav yourself. Just live wisely and you\u2019ll have the happy ending of your life.<\/strong><\/p>\n

26th<\/sup>\u00a0 May 1984(Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I wrote a big letter to Bhavna and sent it through Rajul\u2019s father.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 27th<\/sup> May 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We had gone to Mama\u2019s place to have lunch and then we went to Masi\u2019s house.<\/strong><\/p>\n

At night we had gone to nariman Point and I enjoyed myself. Whenever I used to feel lonely and left all alone, I dreamt of walking there with B______.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 29th<\/sup> May 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We came back from Masi\u2019s place.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 30th<\/sup> May 1984 (wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was fun day. I was all alone. <\/strong>No Meena Ben. No Meeta Ben. <\/strong>I always reminded myself to play it cool and be fat.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 31st<\/sup> May 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today we had gone to Matunga as it was Dolly Aunty\u2019s engagement. It was damn fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We had bought video from Kanak Kaki\u2019s place and I went to C Uncle as we couldn\u2019t fit it properly. And he came from back and embraced me from behind. And he pushes my breast. I get very very angry to experience that. I don\u2019t know exactly what he thinks when he does that. He did that once before also and I thought that I should never go there without reason and be always on my look out. But Kaka behaved afterwards and I thought maybe he won\u2019t do that again and then again today. I really feel like banging is head. He\u2019s a selfish creature. Stupid. I\u2019ll never go there again for nothing. He may be having other reasons but I hate him for whatever reasons he has.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 1st<\/sup> June 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Hansa Faiba came with us yesterday and the day passed happily. We had gone to National Park.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5th<\/sup> June 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nowadays I don\u2019t burn from inside. Before whenever something went wrong, some misfortune striked I used to burn from inside. It was like a bad habit and then I used to blame God and feel fed up with life and lose my temper and patience and burn more and more and become thin.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have stopped burning, a bit at least. I know the habit will be hard\u00a0 to go but I\u2019ll try, try.<\/strong><\/p>\n

From this habil, the \u2018h\u2019 will go and \u2018a bit\u2019 will remain. Then \u2018a\u2019 will go and then also \u2018bit\u2019 will remain and when I\u2019ll remove the \u2018b\u2019 \u2018it\u2019 will remain . (I read this in some book. I like it) But I\u2019ll remove this \u2018it\u2019 also.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll face my difficulties with courage not like a coward as I used to before, Then I\u2019ll do lot of work and become healthy so that it\u2019ll help me in the time of crisis.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll never lose my temper. Always talk nicely to people. Be obedient. Don\u2019t ever be lazy and above all, have fun. Don\u2019t be the dull and dumb being. Have fun and make others happy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes I feel frightened that I may forget all this things and become the same old self. But I keep telling myself to keep calm and do whatever that comes in your head and then face the consequences bravely. But never ,never burn from inside or feel disgusted with living. Life is full of lovely, lovely and different things. If you are hurt somewhere, there is somewhere else where you\u2019ll get love. Never, Never lose hope.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 7th<\/sup> June 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Yeah, my birthday. It was good. In the morning I got up early and went to the temple. I had taken one pony and I was feeling damn mod.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then Kalu\u2019s phone was there and Charu Ben\u2019s. Ajay Bhai had called when I had gone to temple. I asked God to help in my resolutions:-<\/strong><\/p>\n

i) <\/strong>To develop all good characters. Try always to be good. Not only good bt wise and smart.<\/strong><\/p>\n

ii) <\/strong>To be healthy and become fat.<\/strong><\/p>\n

iii) <\/strong>Be satisfied always and thus be far away from boys. All ones.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>Narottam Bhai had got vegetable cake for me. Ajay Bhai sent a pen with Ketan Bhai. Mota Bhai sent money. Manisha bought sweets. Kailash Ben gave a jersey. Not a good one. But the most valuable gifts were cards from Bhavna and Hazel. I was very happy to receive them. I was waiting for it. And to end it all I wish I can repay all that people have done for me and I hope I get many such happy, happy birthday. Daddy gave me 101\/- Rs.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 9th<\/sup> June 1984 (Sat)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kalu came today in the morning and Ajay Bhai came in the evening. We saw \u2018Teesri Manzil\u2019 at night and it was fun. Ajay Bhai is good company.<\/strong><\/p>\n

We all were deciding about Kalu\u2019s future. About what line she should take and which college. She wants to take Commerce and come to N.M. if she can.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 11th<\/sup> June 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We saw Priti\u2019s cassette. In the afternoon Meena Ben\u2019s friends had come and Ila said I looked very delicate and even better than Meena Ben and I ws in the sky.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I saw Bhavesh in the cassette (as he is Priti\u2019s cousin) and he remained somewhat away from everybody and I felt somewhat difference in him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 12th<\/sup> June 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Meena Kaki came today. It was fun. I had my periods and once Meena Kaki told Kruti not to touch me and she went about telling everybody not to touch me. It was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kalu went away. Rajul came in the evening.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 13th<\/sup> June 1984 (Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today until afternoon it was fun. But then in the evening Lata Masi said something that Manisha liked Meena Ben better than Meeta Ben and I was very sad to hear it. I felt sad for Meeta Ben. She is not too successful. I just feel that way and I don\u2019t like it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then I saw Premila Mami who just about chamchofies Mummy. I have the feeling that she feels somewhat inferior because they\u2019re poorer and have the complex. I only wish I was far away from here.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then Meena Ben, she is gone very proudy. She just wants everybody to think she is right and fights for it. She is good girl, no doubt. I like her. But sometimes she just gets on my nerves. I know even I\u2019m spoiled and maybe envious. I\u2019m even Ziddi but I\u2019ll try to improve.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 16th<\/sup> June 1984 (Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bhavna came today. It was good to see her again.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 17th<\/sup> June 1984 (Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had gone out with Bhavna in the morning and then we had lunch at Mami\u2019s place. Manisha\u2019s SSC result had come today and I went to take it with her. She got 67%. Kalu got 68%. All English medium schools in Borivli got cent percent (nobody failed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 18th<\/sup> June 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today morning I had gone with Bhavna to Don Bosco first and then to Gita\u2019s place and then to Santacruz college for Meeta Ben. The Santacruz college is damn good. The place, area, light and airy. I liked the place. Meeta Ben is going to study dress designing there.<\/strong><\/p>\n

But whenever I go out I have this problem about money. I feel as if Bhavna is just cheating. She just does the saying. Give, I\u2019ll pay. Give and rarely pays. Thata bad point. She is not kanjus but I think she is trying to face this world, wisely and even I\u2019ve started thinking of it that way. Do everythuing wisely that\u2019s my watchword. Another most important thing I never to burn from inside. Be brave. Face the world. If you\u2019ve done something wrong, face the consequences. Don\u2019t blane. You can do everything in the world that you like. Just have the big heart to take everything the world gives you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 20th<\/sup> June 1984 (Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had gone with Manisha for her admission. She didn\u2019t get. Kalu almost got in N.M. we bought a fake dancing certificate.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 21st<\/sup> June 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Jasmine Bhabhi and Varsha Babhi came today. It was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 22nd<\/sup> June 1984 (fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Time passes with Dhrasti. She is fun. A good time-past.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 23rd<\/sup> June 1984 (sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nowadays I\u2019ve decided or rather made up my mind to have a big heart. Have a place for all, happiness and sadness. Never blame anyone else or feel fed up with life. God gives you happiness he has the right and reason for giving us sadness. Don\u2019t blame anyone, in the least God for your unsuccess.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 24th<\/sup> June 1984 (Sun)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

We had gone in the morning to \u2018Neelam\u2019 and in the evening to Observation Post. It was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 25th<\/sup> June 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today morning Dadaji (Mummy\u2019s father) died. Mummy took the phone and started crying. It was a real shock. Mobody had expected it. He was not at all sick. At night he talked to everyone and slept at 1:00 never to wake up.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mummy and all Mama\u2019s, 7 of them went by plane. I felt damn sad. If not sad, sorry.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ketan Bhai and Jasmine Bhabhi and Dhrashti went today. They took the video.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 26th<\/sup> June 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was \u2018Sad di\u2019 and all had come to Kanu Mama\u2019s place. Even I went. Everbody was shocked.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 2nd<\/sup> July 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

College reopened today. I didn\u2019t go to college because of rain.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 3rd<\/sup> July 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Rain, Rain all the way.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 4th<\/sup> July 1984 (Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to college. I had worn Bhavna\u2019s skirt blouse. It looked quite good. I made quite a good impression.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5th<\/sup> July 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

A very bore day. I felt irritated or rather angry with Roopali, Sangita and all. They went down and didn\u2019t even call me. As it is I don\u2019t enjoy going to Canteen. I\u2019m going to change company.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had gone with Swati and her friends to eat Frankie and as I was very upset, I was acting somewhat foolish. I shouldn\u2019t have gone first of all. And one of Swati\u2019s frieds, how she talks. All high words and she doesn\u2019t think before making a laugh of somebody. And I have already made a bad impression by acting silly many times before.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 6th<\/sup> July 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to see \u2018Saaransh\u2019 with Gita and Bhavna. It was a fabulous movie.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 7th<\/sup> July 1984 (sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went with Ami ka group and I really enjoyed with them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 9th<\/sup> July 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Christine had come today and it was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 10th<\/sup> July 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I got ready but got fever and so didn\u2019t go to college and full day I was sleeping.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 11th<\/sup> July 1984 (wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Fever was gone but weakness remained. In the vacation I had so happily become fat and now all is gone. But I\u2019m going to remain happy and become fat. After all God made people to be happy, didn\u2019t he?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 12th<\/sup> July 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to college and it was fun with Ami and all. I hope our friendship grows.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 7th<\/sup> Aug 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today I got my last tooth removed. It pained terribly. I had come home with geeta and Roopa.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the afternoon I slept and all water (lal) was coming out of my mouth (Mummy said). I don\u2019t like it. I wonder how I can stop it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m writing in my diary after many days. I\u2019m enjoying college nowadays with my new group of Ami, Nisha, Hemal, Aparna, Jayshree, Smruti, Christine and all.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve got some ideas to help me and all. It makes everybody happy. I\u2019ve become smart. Thank God. Eg. Today mummy and all went to Appa ben (imported) and it was clear that they didn\u2019t want me. I wanted to go. But I just couldn\u2019t. I didn\u2019t want to afterwards. I cried but soon I got over it and now I\u2019m happy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I remember my favourite things<\/strong><\/p>\n

And then I don\u2019t feel so bad.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 15th<\/sup> Aug 1984 (Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We had gone to Linking road and then to Sea Rock. It was high but I had put oil and it was no help. I saw Anil Kapoor at Sea Rock.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 20th<\/sup> Aug 1984(Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had worn my jeans and the top we bought from Linking Road. It looked smart. Then I went to Linking Road with Roopa, Geeta. They bought shoes.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 21st<\/sup> Aug 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to get a\u00a0 card for Malay but I didn\u2019t get anything suitable so I didn\u2019t get any.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 22nd<\/sup> Aug 1984(wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was Malay\u2019s birthday. We had made veggie hamburgers for dinner.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 23rd<\/sup> Aug 1984 (Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Our Padyushan started today. I went in the morning with Meena Ben and manisha to do Pooja. I had a good pious mood the whole day. I told myself that I shouldn\u2019t think about anything seriously and try to conserve as much energy as I can. In the end my fast was a complete success. Meena Ben didn\u2019t talk for the whole day. It was good. Priti didn\u2019t know how to do Pratikaman (as she is going to get married in a Jain family). We taught her.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 24th<\/sup> Aug 1984(Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to do Pooja after having a good breakfast.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 27th<\/sup> Aug 1984(Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Daxa Faiba, Kirti Fuva and Dolly Ben did 8 days fast and Meena Ben went there. Nobody likes without Meena Ben. We\u2019ll miss her. I envy her.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 28th<\/sup> Aug 1984(Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sonal had done 8 days fast and we went with her and all guests to temple with band and all.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 30th<\/sup> Aug 1984(thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Again today a fast. The day passed very fast with the pratikaman.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Every day I had done Pooja. I liked doing it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 31st<\/sup> Aug 1984(fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t go to college today as it was holiday and in the evening we went to Matunga to do \u2018Michhami Dukkdam\u2019. I had worn Guddi\u2019s midi and it looked damn good. I could see it in everybody\u2019s eyes.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the morning I went to Sonal\u2019s Parna. Then Bhavna came to tell that it was a holiday because of the talent contest.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Sept 3rd<\/sup> 1984 (Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We went to see Anup Jalota\u2019s programme sponsored by Deepa\u2019s school. Deepa welcomed Anup Jalota. Jaya Bhaduri and Kalpana Iyer had also come. It was fun. Jasmine Bhabhi said that I was looking fine. While coming back I went to Matunga as there were one too many for the taxi.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 4th<\/sup> Sept 1984 (Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was a holiday in college and so I stayed at Matunga. I felt irritated with myself at times when I felt inferior. That\u2019s a feeling that still troubles me.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5th<\/sup> Sept 1984 (wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ajay Bhai had to go to Parle and he left me till my college and it was good. But I don\u2019t feel free with anybody. I remained formal in the car. I should learn to be more free and hale and hearty at least with people you like or who are good.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 7th<\/sup> Sept 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was Bakri-Id\u00a0 holiday.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 8th<\/sup> Sept 1984 (Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We went to Lonavla in the morning. We missed Meena Ben but it was great fun in the Metador which was occupied by all children. Praful Bhai\u2019s, Chandrakant Kaka\u2019s and Mahendra Kaka\u2019s family came with us.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 9th<\/sup> Sept 1984 (sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We had gone to Bushy Dam and we got wet there. It was fun. When we came back we didn\u2019t know how the time passed. Time passes quickly when we are happy.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 12th<\/sup> Sept 1984 (wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had gone with Roopa, Geeta to Priya to do waxing and then we had Pav Bhaji and ice-cream at wai-Kiki. It was Rooopa\u2019s birthday treat. It was on 1st<\/sup> Dec.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 13th<\/sup> Sept 1984(Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t go to college. In the evening we went to Bhaidas to see \u2018Koi Bhit Thi Ayena Uttaro\u2019 a guju drama. It was good. I enjoyed myself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 14th<\/sup> Sept 1984(fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had my periods in the morning.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 15th<\/sup> sept 1984(sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was blue and white day in college. Everybody in Junior college was in blue and white. There were some boys with ties and they looked damn smart.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 18th<\/sup> Sept 1984(Tue)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was the most factful day in my life. Today they showed the movie \u2018Prophecy\u2019 in college. Then when we were returning Smruti and Kushala said that I was \u2018matlabi\u2019 and the most sad thing was that even I was convinced that I am that to some extent. I just don\u2019t take life seriously. I think only about myself. I have made a big promise to improve myself to myself. I\u2019ll do my best and I\u2019ll at least accomplish something.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then I had gone to Bhavna\u2019s place and she gave me all the clothes she had taken of ours and told me to give the dhobi and take from him afterwards. She takes the dress and doesn\u2019t even have the courtesy to iron them and she does everything so cunningly. And once or twice she has taken 10 Rs. and never returns it. She doesn\u2019t give money for things we\u2019ve bought for her and she\u2019s damn cunning. I\u2019ll try to slowly make less acquaintance with her if she goes on being this way. She\u2019s taken me for granted and I don\u2019t like it.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have a lot to improve myself but at least I\u2019m not cunning. I\u2019m going to do what I want, behave nicely with everybody, be more with good people and try to be less\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 with bad and cunning ones. I have to myself gain lots of confidence to live nicely and not be attracted to cheap and bad enticements. Be respectful to everybody, think of others and thus ilve happy, healthy and wisely.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Meena Ben came back from Bangalore.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 23rd<\/sup> Sept 1984(Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was daddy\u2019s birthday. In the morning Dilip Kumar and Malati Ben came to have lunch.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 24th<\/sup> Sept 1984(Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was our Rose day. I knew that I wouldn\u2019t get any but I had hoped and hoped that I would at least get one. But I didn\u2019t. It was justified. I should have sent it to someone. I had no right to expect from someone, anyone if I hadn\u2019t sent it. I was despaired but I have no one to blame but myself. Even at home I came and found that I was a big failure. I was just not interesting.\u00a0 I should remember not to be lazy, do always what is right without any shame or inferiority or cowardness and be good to everybody and have a goal in life. I\u2019m going to try damn hard. I\u2019ll remember that:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIf the path gets easier, you aren\u2019t climbing.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 28th<\/sup> sept 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went with Bhavna, Minu and family to Goyal. It was fun. I enjoyed every minute of it. There were two guys whom none of us knew who joined us. But they were decent and all went well.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a029th<\/sup> sept 1984(Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We went to Matunga for playing dandia raas. It was not so good. But was fun to see the people playing. All had worn good clothes.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 4th<\/sup> Oct 1984(Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was Dasseraa. Navratri was fininshed and I didn\u2019t enjoy it so much as I had done years before.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5th<\/sup> Oct 1984 (Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Exam started.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 12th<\/sup> Oct 1984(Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Eaxams were over at last. We all went to Wai Kiki.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 13th<\/sup> Oct 1984(Sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had my periods in the morning. I couldn\u2019r go to Jayshree\u2019s place for Nived. We washed everything and time flew.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 24th<\/sup> Oct 1984(Wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was Diwali. We went to Pedhi and had our little fun. Then we went to \u2018Status\u2019 restaurant.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 25th<\/sup> Oct 1984(Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Happy New Year day.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had worn saree with Rajul and Bhavna. It was fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 29th<\/sup> Oct 1984(Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kalu came from Matunga.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 1st<\/sup> Nov 1984(Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today we had gone for a walk Simpoli side and then I told Kalu to go and see the Rangoli and I could quiet make out that she didn\u2019t want to go with me. She wanted Meeta Ben. I got damn angry. Only later I realized that why should I. It\u2019s her wish. Let her do anything she likes. You do what you like. Go out with people you like and who like you. Be smart and always do what is best and always be proud. Yeah, proud. Never lower yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I was damn angry with Kalu. I was feeling damn inferior and I decided that I should find a suitable class or job or anything and keep myself busy. And above all always know your boundaries.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 2nd<\/sup> Nov 1984(Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I came to Matunga with Kalu. I didn\u2019t wish to but I came. I\u2019m still angry at Kalu. Then at night when we had gone out to eat ice cream and to temple, Pushpa Kaki said to me that she wondered how I didn\u2019t grow fat although I wasn\u2019t bright as Kalu and as ambitious or as tedious as her. I got damn angry but as usual couldn\u2019t say anything. I was damn disgusted. Not with myself but with her. I just controlled myself by saying that I could always do a job and make them change their attitudes and I sweared that I wouldrun in life Not go slowly and always be smart and answer back to stupid comments. She had no right to tell me al that. I cried at night while sleeping.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 3rd<\/sup> Nov 1984(sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We saw 3\u2019s co. It is a very good comedy serial. We saw \u2018Andaz\u2019. It was good.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 4th<\/sup> Nov 1984(Sun)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gone to Megh Mahal for lunch. It was fun. We saw \u2018Three\u2019s Company\u2019 second part. It was damn fun.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 5th<\/sup> Nov 1984(Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went to pay fees straight from Matunga. I met everyone there at college. I had worn jeans and it looked good. I felt mod.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 8th<\/sup> Nov 1984(Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had gone to Rajul\u2019s place in the evening and it was good to be with her. But her daddy gave me key chains and it was somewhat awkward.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had my periods at night. Nowadays I get them early.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In the morning we had gone to National Park to do cycling. I fell once and my handle would go on turning. It was fun. There were eleven of us.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 9th<\/sup> Nov 1984(Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today Meena Ben went to see her first boy \u2018YOGESH\u2019. She liked him. At night before they came, I cried a bit when I was all alone at home. Why do we have to be separated? I like her very much. She doesn\u2019t make differences like Meeta Ben. I really will miss her. But I\u2019ve decided to do the best in the oncoming days with Meena Ben.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I read the book \u2018Loving\u2019 by Danielle Steele. It is a good book about a girl who marries four times. But she couldn\u2019t help it. She was good. I liked her character. In the starting there was a passage that said being \u2018Real\u2019 was when people like you as you are and it takes long and doesn\u2019t happen to people who break easily and who have sharp edges and who have to be taken carefully care of. There was a passage in the novel that said that we should hold on to our dreams no matter what even if we have to die for it.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a05th<\/sup> Dec 1984(wed)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today Malati Ben\u2019s marriage was written (English translation). Yesterday I was not called. Today I was. I somewhat felt irritated the whole day.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Then in the night Malay said something about I being different from the family and black sheep. I was damn irritated and mummy was shoulting at me because I was going to picnic tomorrow all alone from Borivli. I got very moody and itchy and cried the whole evening. I was very happy when I cam from college.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 6th<\/sup> Dec 1984(Thu)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 MY CLASS PICNIC<\/strong><\/p>\n

It was OK. Morning got ready and went. I was first among the girls to reach there. We played many-many games. All possible games. I wasn\u2019t very sporty. I didn\u2019t try to win any. Everybody enjoyed playing the Frisbee I had taken.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sometimes I felt bored and stupid. I was damn slow. I have to improve. Aparna was damn sporty and she even danced in the afternoon. She dances well. I think that if I had tried well I would have enjoyed it more. At the end legs were paining terribly and I felt damn lonely caming all alone from Malad. I was nicely tanned.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I should remember that I should be what I want to be. I should earn praises and respect not beg people for them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 7th<\/sup> Dec 1984(Fri)<\/strong><\/p>\n

In college it was friendly reception. It was Parul\u2019s birthday and she asked me to come to her place tomorrow. I didn\u2019t know what to do.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today was Lollipop day and I wasn\u2019t expecting any. But I got one from \u2018Biren\u2019 (wonder who?) First I was sure it was geeta\u2019s prank but she said hadn\u2019t done it and that she wouldn\u2019t spend 50ps. On it (this sentence made me thinking that I was cheap. But it was stupid) I wonder who that fellow is.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Dec 8th<\/sup> 1984(sat)<\/strong><\/p>\n

We went to college and came back. Rupa and friends asked me to come at Parul\u2019s place as her car was going to leave us afterwards. I went but though it was good and all were friendly, I didn\u2019t enjoy it. Parul has a wonderful place. But I didn\u2019t know anyone well there and I felt out of place. I shouldn\u2019t have gone at a party where I hardly know anyone. But it\u2019s over now. By the time we came home it was 11:15. I came home last after leaving everybody in Parul\u2019s jeep. I was damn frightened. I got my periods.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 31st<\/sup> Dec 1984(Mon)<\/strong><\/p>\n

I wanted to go out on 31st<\/sup> night. But daddy said that there was too much rush everywhere and all was expensive so we had to do with a \u2018shit\u2019 programme on tv. I couldn\u2019t bear to see the full programme so I slept before midnight.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1st Jan 1984 (Sun) Today Bhavna came but she didn\u2019t phone till evening and I got all doubts about her. Then there was a movie on tv \u2018ek baar Kaho\u2019. It was like all Rajshri movies an emotional movie about love. I liked it very much. And at the end I was very depressed knowing … Continue reading 1984<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":141,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-67","page","type-page","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/67","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=67"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/67\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":82,"href":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/67\/revisions\/82"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/141"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/vibhashah.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=67"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}